For the past couple of years, Van has been carrying a map of northern Vietnam with her, "to find my uncle and bring him back home," she explains. At first, the way she talks about her uncle makes me think that he's still alive. Only as our conversation progresses, I finally understand that he passed away in the "American War", as the Vietnamese call the Vietnam War, and his remains have yet to be found. Running a small silk shop with regional handicrafts, Van is the one in her family who travels the most and while she is looking for local weavers for beautiful fabrics, she also carries out the family search for her uncle's remains.
Thousands of families are searching for their relatives who died in the war and since official information is rare and hard to obtain, they seek help from psychics and spiritual mediums of the exact locations (read more from the BBC). Van's family has attended a session where a psychic channeled her uncle's spirit into her cousin. But the spirit was of the dumb kind and couldn't answer any questions so the family continues to seek help through professional mediums. “We know of the right place, once three mediums have given us the same information, then we can be sure.”
Medium centers from the outside looks like homes or offices but inside the living communicate with the dead – many to seek answers to their decade-long searchers for the remains, but some to just talk with the deceased because they miss them, are concerned of their well-being or need their advice.
When the remains of a family member are home, mediums aren't needed as the ancestor's spirits are readily accessible in prayers and dreams. Every Vietnamese home seems to actively care for the family altar as the ancestors are perceived as extremely important for the physical, emotional and financial well-being of the family. “It's the duty of the living to care for the spirits of the deceased and send them whatever they might need,” Van explains. This is done by burning paper money in all currencies, paper clothes, and even paper motorbikes, airconditions, TVs, cell phones and laptops. The idea is that happy spirits can better protect the family.
“The ancestors give us advice and help us with important decisions. It's common that an ancestor has an opinion and helps us make the right decisions, for example when we buy a house or a family member is sick and requires medical treatment. Then, the ancestors might tell us which hospital to go to, whether to trust that doctor, or when to stop or change a treatment plan.”