This story is about Carol*, a grad student in California.

When I first met her, she told me she had a much younger sister, ten years younger to be exact. It's not the most usual but also not the most unusual. The story got fascinating, when Carol started telling me about her annual bills for medical freezing services that ran up to USD 2,000. This all might not make much sense right now, but let me start from the beginning.

Carol's father is an orthopedic surgeon, specializing on hip and knee surgeries and in his free time he collaborates with university students from Germany inventing medical devices. Carol's mother is a teacher.

After Carol was born, her parents wanted to have another child – but for some reason it didn't quite work. Years of hormone treatments followed and they finally were successful with in vitro.

In vitro fertilisation is a process where they take eggs and fertilize them in a test tube, hence the name. The scientists then look at how many eggs have been successfully inseminated and plant those back into the uterus.

Now, I'm sure you've heard of the octuplets and sextuplets in this world. Many of these have so many siblings because as Carol explains “No scientific decision is being made, like my dad did, but all eggs are put back into the uterus.”

In Carol's case, her father – the scientist – decided that they'd only put two out of the four successfully inseminated and healthily developing eggs into her mom's uterus. The remaining ones, they stuck into the freezer – a professional, medical freezer of course. At this point, Carol explains that “other couples get into ethical and religious arguments where they feel like are they are killing their children or playing God by selecting one egg over the other. My dad was just my dad, the scientist, and there was no issue with freezing the other ones.”

As the pregnancy develops, her mother experiences a miscarriage and only one child is born – exactly as the parents had hoped for.

Carol learns all this as a ten year-old, being the daughter of a scientist it doesn't strike her as very unusual.

The years go by, and as Carol and her sister grow up there is mentioning of the fertilized eggs that are still in the freezer. Her mother starts wondering what to do with them and being her philanthropic self, she entertains thoughts of giving them to couples who can't have children. The moment she voices her plans to her husband - Carol's father – he objects. He doesn't want his genetic material to end up with a family he doesn't know and have no connections with. He'd rather donate them to science. To this proposal, Carol's mom can't agree to. “Why should she let science do cruel experiments with my siblings?” Carol remarks. And so, the eggs stay in the freezer and Carol's parents keep paying the freezer bills.

So, how does Carol end up with the freezer bills?

Carol goes off to college and on one of her trips home, finds her parents putting together their will. Sitting down with to finalize the process, their lawyer asks them the following question: “Besides real estate, bank accounts, life insurance and other assets, are there any unusual assets?”

Her parents and Carol look at each other: “Uhm, the eggs in the freezer!”

Her parents can't agree on what to do, so a spontaneous decision is made: they sign them over to their daughter.

Here is Carol, 22 years old, a grad school student, having inherited her siblings-to-be who sit in a medical freezer because her parents can't agree what to do with them.

Maybe realizing the awkwardness, Carol's dad adds a new spin to this. In case his daughter doesn't meet Mr. Right in her fertile years, or in case she might have troubles getting pregnant, she could always give birth to what genetically are her sibling. Sounds all great to a scientist …

Here is Carol's take on her father's offer: “How am I going to convince my future husband to have children that technically are my siblings, and then give birth to them?”

In the end, her parents continue paying for the freezer bills and not much has changed. But Carol has come to the conclusion that she has helped her parents with the conundrum, and reassures herself that “the eggs are probably freezer burned by now, so that's that.”

Special thanks to Carol for sharing your family story with WellAroundTheWorld!

*as always, names are changed to protect patient privacy. 

For the past couple of years, Van has been carrying a map of northern Vietnam with her, "to find my uncle and bring him back home," she explains. At first, the way she talks about her uncle makes me think that he's still alive. Only as our conversation progresses, I finally understand that he passed away in the "American War", as the Vietnamese call the Vietnam War, and his remains have yet to be found. Running a small silk shop with regional handicrafts, Van is the one in her family who travels the most and while she is looking for local weavers for beautiful fabrics, she also carries out the family search for her uncle's remains.

Thousands of families are searching for their relatives who died in the war and since official information is rare and hard to obtain, they seek help from psychics and spiritual mediums of the exact locations (read more from the BBC). Van's family has attended a session where a psychic channeled her uncle's spirit into her cousin. But the spirit was of the dumb kind and couldn't answer any questions so the family continues to seek help through professional mediums. “We know of the right place, once three mediums have given us the same information, then we can be sure.”

Medium centers from the outside looks like homes or offices but inside the living communicate with the dead – many to seek answers to their decade-long searchers for the remains, but some to just talk with the deceased because they miss them, are concerned of their well-being or need their advice.

When the remains of a family member are home, mediums aren't needed as the ancestor's spirits are readily accessible in prayers and dreams. Every Vietnamese home seems to actively care for the family altar as the ancestors are perceived as extremely important for the physical, emotional and financial well-being of the family. “It's the duty of the living to care for the spirits of the deceased and send them whatever they might need,” Van explains. This is done by burning paper money in all currencies, paper clothes, and even paper motorbikes, airconditions, TVs, cell phones and laptops. The idea is that happy spirits can better protect the family.

“The ancestors give us advice and help us with important decisions. It's common that an ancestor has an opinion and helps us make the right decisions, for example when we buy a house or a family member is sick and requires medical treatment. Then, the ancestors might tell us which hospital to go to, whether to trust that doctor, or when to stop or change a treatment plan.”

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After a day-long bus ride, we were excited to find a hotel with a massage place right next door. We checked in and as it was already dark went straight for a massage to bring relief to our aching backs. The two ladies working there laughed at our request for massages and told us that the massage tables in their space were for children only – for eye massages. As they were closing up for the day, we decided to take a closer look the next day.

At the entrance, parents are reminded of their duty to care for their only child's wellbeing. In large Chinese characters it says: “Parents with observing eyes have a child with good vision.” Since 1980, the one-child-policy has been reinforced in urban areas and has led to the phenomenon of each child getting the attention of six adults, that is two parents and four grandparents. This change in society together with the economic changes in China has had an effect to such an extent that the generation born after 1980 even has their own name “Ba Ling Hou”, directly translated “after eighty”. Now, since one's offspring is limited to only one child, parents, naturally want the best for their child – the best education, the best environment, the best foods, and the best treatments.

From the two ladies who run this children's nearsightedness prevention center, we learned that the treatment for nearsightedness only works when it's started right away after the child is diagnosed with nearsightedness or the first symptoms are observed by the parents. The treatment is a mixture of Traditional Chinese Medicine, massage and eye exercises. It takes six weeks, during which the child comes to the center twice a day for massages, applying the medicinal eye mask together with a special facial massage appliance and doing the eye exercises instructed with a red balloon on a stick. Sometimes the treatment also involves dietary requirements. The package deal costs RMB 1000 ($152), a substantial amount for a family in a tier 4 city in China.

The two pediatric nearsightedness specialists ventured into this business after they got laid off from their work at the local sugarcane factory. Not wanting to sit around idle, they came across the organization Black Eyes, took the training course, and set up their own franchise business in their home town. Despite the new healthcare system in China which provides reimbursements for medical care and the fact that their center does not qualify for such reimbursements, business is still going well.

During our visit, multiple children came on their own or were dropped off by their parents. Some kids brought their friends along. They got a free diagnosis and casually joined in doing the eye exercises. There was a carefree and optimistic atmosphere, making the place feel more like a playground than a medical center.

Nearsightedness in China is very common. I remember very well that during my four-year degree of Chinese, most of my German classmates and I got worse eyesight due to constant deciphering of the tiny Chinese characters in our dictionaries and the poor newspaper prints. Later, when I taught at a Chinese middle school, I was surprised to see that one of the two compulsory exercise sessions each day was dedicated to massaging the acupressure points around the eyes. These kids told us that this practice continues and that these visits to the center were in addition to the half hour of eye exercises that they do at school.

Chinese kids have very busy schedules, running from piano lessons to dancing classes, and from their Chinese chess clubs to doing the vast amount of homework that often keep them up until midnight. I am unsure of how effective this combination treatment is in terms of stopping their eyesight getting worse, but it is giving the parents the feeling that they are doing something for their kids while the kids get a chance to get relaxing massages and time to socialize with their friends in a non-competitive environment.

Other interesting facts:
From Wikipedia: "The prevalence of myopia in high school in China is 77.3%, and in college is more than 80%."

From Science Daily: "In fact, a study released in the fall by the National Eye Institute (NEI) found that office-based treatment for patients with a common eye muscle coordination disorder, along with at-home reinforcement, is more effective than home-based programs in isolation."

From a skeptical site: "Remember: no type of eye exercise can improve a refractive error or cure any ailment within the eyeball" 

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