April 1, 2011

Cambodia - Once isn't enough to make a baby

Warning: this post contains graphic descriptions of sexual nature.

Over dinner in Phnom Penh, my friend Louise who is a teacher at an international school tells us about the lack of sex education in Cambodia. When she prepared classes for her students, she realized that her Cambodian assistant teacher had many questions herself. In order to avoid embarrassment in front of the students, Louise organized a sex ed Q&A session for the Cambodian assistant teachers. In this session, her coworkers revealed their beliefs with her. She shared with us the following ones:

#1 For beautiful skin, a girl should take her first period blood and rub her face with it.
How does this superstition play out in day-to-day life: Who tells you to do this? Will this come up in people's gossip when a girl develops acne? Or, is it just another way of telling a girl that she's now a young woman and allowed to care about her beauty?

#2 A girls breasts grow in size the more they are touched by a man.
This would ruin the plastic surgery industry if it was only true. But what does this belief mean in a Cambodian context where many children are caught in the child sex trade?

The most fascinating belief we thought was this one:

#3 To give birth to a healthy child, the couple needs to have intercourse many times.
Each time a part of the baby's body gets made, such as a hand, an arm, the head, a leg, etc. I'm sure this myth comes very handy for the horny husband during his wife's pregnancy. On the other hand, what are people's thoughts when a child is born disabled? Does the husband blame his wife? Do family members give the fault to the couple? Who perpetuates this belief?

March 31, 2011

Laos - Angry spirit causes accident

Where the river Mekong flows from Laos into Cambodia, the mighty river widens and thousands of islands appear. Some are so small that only a single small bush grows on it, others are much larger and populated. On one of these island villages we met a man in his early thirties who runs a guesthouse with his family. One morning at breakfast, his aunt approaches us with a picture of a rather large Thai monk who has many necklaces hanging down his chest. She had just returned from an all-night prayer at the local temple where she received some pieces of strings to protect from ghosts and evil spirits. These strings are tied around the wrist for protection. Sometimes certain colors refer to specific organs or body parts that needs extra protection.

Spirits live in trees and when you cut down a tree the spirits get angry at you and will cause you to have an accident. We've seen many offerings of incense, food and flowers to big Banyan trees all over SE Asia.

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I wonder about conversations at the ER when the admission doctor takes down the Health and Physical and is told about the involvement of spirits. Or, are spirits not talked about at the hospital and only 'dealt' with at the temple?

The guesthouse owner doesn't want to talk further about his aunt but explains to us that ghosts are everywhere and come out especially at night. He asks us whether we believe in ghosts, and it gets a little awkward as we try to say what we really think without stepping on his toes. His answer is: “50% - you never know so better play safe.”

Vietnam - Ancestor's spirit tops doctor's orders

For the past couple of years, Van has been carrying a map of northern Vietnam with her, "to find my uncle and bring him back home," she explains. At first, the way she talks about her uncle makes me think that he's still alive. Only as our conversation progresses, I finally understand that he passed away in the "American War", as the Vietnamese call the Vietnam War, and his remains have yet to be found. Running a small silk shop with regional handicrafts, Van is the one in her family who travels the most and while she is looking for local weavers for beautiful fabrics, she also carries out the family search for her uncle's remains.

Thousands of families are searching for their relatives who died in the war and since official information is rare and hard to obtain, they seek help from psychics and spiritual mediums of the exact locations (read more from the BBC). Van's family has attended a session where a psychic channeled her uncle's spirit into her cousin. But the spirit was of the dumb kind and couldn't answer any questions so the family continues to seek help through professional mediums. “We know of the right place, once three mediums have given us the same information, then we can be sure.”

Medium centers from the outside looks like homes or offices but inside the living communicate with the dead – many to seek answers to their decade-long searchers for the remains, but some to just talk with the deceased because they miss them, are concerned of their well-being or need their advice.

When the remains of a family member are home, mediums aren't needed as the ancestor's spirits are readily accessible in prayers and dreams. Every Vietnamese home seems to actively care for the family altar as the ancestors are perceived as extremely important for the physical, emotional and financial well-being of the family. “It's the duty of the living to care for the spirits of the deceased and send them whatever they might need,” Van explains. This is done by burning paper money in all currencies, paper clothes, and even paper motorbikes, airconditions, TVs, cell phones and laptops. The idea is that happy spirits can better protect the family.

“The ancestors give us advice and help us with important decisions. It's common that an ancestor has an opinion and helps us make the right decisions, for example when we buy a house or a family member is sick and requires medical treatment. Then, the ancestors might tell us which hospital to go to, whether to trust that doctor, or when to stop or change a treatment plan.”